


Part Of Your World

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:50:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2458817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>F! Hawke is mute and suffers mild hearing loss. She falls in love with Fenris at first sight, who cannot sign or read. How are these two going to woo the other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Part Of Your World

Hawke was not a romantic sort. She had little time for affairs of the heart and loins. She had seen enough of Bethany mooning and Carver lusting all of her life to know that there were much more important things, things that held her attention for more than a few minutes at a time.

Which is why, perhaps, she was thrown for so much of a loop in that moment. In that one small moment, as the elf stood before her, she was an utter puddle of unexplainable mush. She stared, her body still rippling pleasantly from the mere sound of his voice. Maker. She had always had some trouble hearing high pitched voices, but his was so low and growly, it practically rang through her like a bell. She was pretty sure she was grinning foolishly when Carver stepped forward.

"That's my sister you're talking about," he growled, "You have a problem with her, you have a problem with me."

Hawke snapped back into reality. Right. That was what the elf had been saying. Magic corrupted people or blah blah. She hadn't really been paying attention due to the big green puppy eyes in front of her, but she could recall something or other about being enslaved by a Tevinter magister. That would do it to a guy. Carver was now making an argument about her being a fantastic healer, saving lots of sick children, and using the money they were collecting to protect their family. You know, all of the noble stuff. 

Ashamedly, everything on her mind was incredibly less noble.

Hawke signed: _It's fine. Go tell him I want him to work with us. And tell him he's handsome._

Carver turned around in confusion and said, "What?"

Hawke said insistently, _He's cute, especially all riled up like this. Go on. See if he has a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever._

Carver turned and signed back, _The man clearly has issues and magic being related to all of them. I'm not going to help you flirt with the man when he seems to want to tear you in two._

Hawke grinned, glancing him over again, _I wouldn't mind._

Carver blushed furiously before turning back to Fenris.

Carver stammered slightly as he tried to regain his calm, "My sister seems to think you would still be a valuable asset."

Hawke reminded: _And that he's cute. And I would climb him like a tree._

Carver sighed, "And that's it. That is all she said. Now. It's been a long night. I'm going to go get very, very drunk."

Hawke rolled her eyes and reached into her bag. She hesitated slightly. While she had been over the top merely to tease her brother, she now was much more concerned about what she would say. The man clearly had a lot on his mind and seemed wary of mages. She on the other hand was an apostate and while at barely five foot and a few pounds north of slender was hardly frightening, she didn't really want to lead with that.

As the others went off, she stopped him from returning to the Estate. He waited patiently as she wrote down on the pad: _It was nice to meet you. I'd like to see you sometime, if you were interested._

She tore it off and handed it to him. He handled it like a bomb and did not read it, simply going back inside without speaking to her. She frowned, stomping off to the Hanged Man. The man didn't even have the decency to read a note. Two sentences! How hard would that have been?

Still, she could not stop thinking about him. That infuriated her even more. She made her way back to the bar, sitting down with her colleagues. She signed for her order, Carver speaking on her behalf. While she mainly signed a Thedas wide dialect common among traveling Merchants, she supplemented with enough home sign that Isabela and Varric were still learning to understand her fully. They were trying, but she was still pretty dependent on her brother if she didn't want to write every thought she had down. And paper was expensive. Which pissed her off that Fenris had just tossed it aside.

She drank deeply into the cup handed to her. 

oOoOo

It had surprised everyone except Carver that Hawke went to the Deep Roads without her brother. Hawke respected her mother's wishes and feared his safety. Varric knew enough to understand her at this point. Merrill knew enough healing if something were to happen to her, she could take over (she would have preferred Anders' skills, but the man was terribly claustrophobic and Merrill was itching to go). Which left the need for a "heavy", a term she had often affectionately used to describe Carver's bulk. She initially thought of Aveline, but knew that with her post starting soon, she wouldn't dare get her lost in the Deep Roads and miss her initiation ceremony. 

Okay. She was making excuses. She could have brought Merrill and Anders along. She could have brought Isabela and Aveline. She could have brought the dog even. Or no one! It could have just been her and Varric strolling through the dark.

She wanted Fenris with her. She had spent only a little time with him in the few weeks since their meeting. He had been polite and their conversations were pointedly short. It was simply a stupid girlish crush that made her want to bring him along. Now that she was actually in the Deep Roads, she deeply regretted her choice of company. Varric, in love with the sound of his own voice, was leading the head of the expedition, chatting to anyone about his next novel. Merrill, bless her, was fascinated with every sort of moss she had never seen before and was often completely absent as she explored. Which left Hawke with the few merchants and Fenris. The merchants generally ignored her. While many could sign, most had little patience for it, even less so for just small talk. 

And Fenris. Well, Fenris was Fenris. He was quiet, he walked forward tall and proud, only pausing occasionally to make sure Hawke had not fallen in a ditch because as he put it "he wouldn't be able to hear if she did." She was not sure if this was a comment about her mutism or the fact she was tiny, but she was not able to ask or to decipher if it was a joke or not. The man was not typically a kidder. Even if she had once heard him giggle and it was the most adorable thing she had ever heard.

It was a rare occasion the four of them were together when they finally entered the Thaig. It lasted for about a minute and a half before Merrill rushed ahead looking at dwarven artifacts and Varric hung out by the door, calling out to his brother how much more manly he was than him. 

Hawke walked up the steps to see the lyrium idol. As she grew closer, her head rang terribly. She had always been sensitive to the stuff and in this vast quantity, she was setting up for the worst migraine of her life. She left; letting the other three examine it. She went into a side corridor, trying to catch her breath. She was attempting to heal herself, but the lyrium was still embedded in her system. She was barely aware when she heard the door slam. She stumbled forward, the room going dark. She heard the other three shouting at each other and she tried to feel her way, her headache clearing enough for her to understand that she was trapped. 

Hawke called out, _Varric!_

Then she hesitated. It was dark. Even if he were looking the right way, he wouldn't be able to see her. She started panicking. No one knew where she was. She tried to light a fire, but she started hyperventilating. She tried to hold onto the wall, trying to catch her breath.

And then she heard his voice.

"Hawke!"

She whipped around. Fenris. Fenris was nearby.

Fenris said calmly, "Hawke, the other two are just ahead, trying to get the door open. I know you can't see me. So just walk towards the sound of my voice. It's okay. None of us are hurt. You just need to focus on getting towards me. We're going to get out of here. You just have to keep moving."

Hawke shook, stepping forward tentatively, fearful she was going the wrong way. But his voice grew louder.

"I'm here, Hawke. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. Keep walking."

She jumped when his hand touched her shoulder. He held her to him, his body wrapping easily around hers. She shook, sobbing into his shoulder.

"You're safe," he murmured. "Just catch your breath."

Hawke relaxed slightly, enough to hear the other two just ahead, fidgeting with the door's mechanisms. The door finally slid open and lanterns filled the room.

"It's clear!" Merrill called out. "We're getting out of here."

Hawke stepped back, catching her breath.

She signed: _Thank you._

He merely nodded before they walked on.

oOoOo

The moment was forgotten upon return to the surface. Carver had left for the Templars. The pair argued long into the night. Hawke didn't really want to relive the conversation. It was like a summary of every fight they had had for the past two years. He felt burdened by her. She resented him for being so needlessly protective. He felt she was using him. She felt he was being vindictive. 

In the end, all that had mattered was that he was going. He would still be part of her life, particularly now that the Amell line was returning to power. It would seem only fitting the second child would be a Templar, as redemption for the magic in their line. It sounded like the sort of bullshit her mother would have come up with, but she wasn't going to argue. There was nothing she would have said that would have changed his mind. The best she could do was gracefully let him go.

Once he had left, things began to change very quickly. Within weeks, she now lived at a great Estate. She no longer went hungry. She now wore new gowns and was introduced to the very finest of society. Her mother had seen a chance. Her daughter, burdened with a disability, was now an heiress and a worthy marriage prospect. All her daughter had to do was work on her penmanship and she could have any man in Hightown.

Except Hawke had no interest. She loved working in the clinic beside Anders. She loved roaming the wilds with Merrill, fighting crime with Aveline. She loved getting rip roaring drunk with Isabela and then kissing pretty boys.

Okay, there was only one pretty boy she was interested in, but she could pretend.

She had been barely able to visit any of her friends until Aveline came desperately asking for help in courting Donnic. Hawke jumped at the chance, following through every ridiculous scheme in order to spend time with people other than boring noblemen and her mother.

It was on that afternoon she saw Fenris again, the first time after emerging from the Deep Roads. He had avoided her for most of the journey home and he hadn't even spoken to her since then. But here he was, Isabela laughing beside him as they followed behind Avenline's patrol across the beach. Merrill was skipping along, chatting with the mabari. 

Merrill chased after a bird and Isabela ran after her, giggling. Fenris walked beside Hawke, shaking his head at the pair before them.

Fenris chuckled, "They act like they're on holiday. I know they consider this warm in the Free Marches, but this still feels practically frigid to me."

She replied: _I'm from Ferelden, this feels tropical._

He smiled politely and she groaned.

She sighed unhappily: _Oh, Fenris. Why do I keep thinking you understand?_

"I recognized that one," he said, mimicking the curve of her ring and pinkie finger, just touching his bottom lip.

She grinned, nodding and pointing to him: _Fenris._

"It's me?" He asked in surprise. "What does Hawke look like?"

She rolled her eyes and mimicked a bird flapping its wings. He shook his head, chuckling, and she did the proper sign, a sweep across her right shoulder, her fingers twisted together.

He struggled to do the same and sighed.

"I'm not good at this," he explained. "I barely learned Common, I'm terrible at languages. I wish I wasn't. I...I have to apologize. You wrote something down for me that night we met. I know I seemed rude, but I...I can't read. I was just ashamed and angry and I didn't want to say anything."

She honestly did not know what to say and knew that regardless, he would not understand.

She took a deep breath, smiling. He returned her gaze, blushing. They said nothing as they walked along the beach together, watching Merrill and Isabela run into the surf. 

oOoOo

Hawke was nearly done her first course before she had decided she had no interest in seeing this suitor again. For one, he was talking straight to her mother whenever he wanted to ask her something. Two, her mother was flirting with him in a way that either meant she wanted to portray her daughter or possibly she herself was very interested in the fellow. Three, his name was Brant. What sort of name was Brant?

Hawke signed to her mother as politely as she could: _This man is a dud. I'm faking food poisoning, just so you know._

Leandra beamed. "She's having such a wonderful time, Brant. It's such a treat to have you here. I dare say there's been a few gentlemen interested in my girl, but I must say, I think you may be her favourite."

Hawke shot her mother a look before saying: _I hate him. You tell him I think his shirt looks like a dog barfed on it and that he smells like a dead rat. Actually, I remember the specific dead rat on the boat ride here. I think his name was Brant too._

Leandra laughed, "She's telling me not to embarrass her, the silly girl."

Hawke smiled politely and said little throughout the rest of the meal. She could have just signed utter nonsense, it would not have mattered. Bodahn, however, had been instrumental in her communication that night by sneaking her a lead and paper. She hastily scribbled down exactly what Brant could stick up his rectum (and how) and made sure it found its way into his pocket. 

After he stormed off in horror and her mother was too angry to speak to her, Hawke ran out of the Estate and into the streets. She did not know where she was going until she saw the front steps to Fenris' house. She ran in, knowing he never locked it, and found him sitting by the fire, drinking wine straight from the bottle. He stood up, looking embarrassed. 

He asked, "How was the date?"

She ignored this, stomping past him as she signed angrily: 

_It's not freaking fair, Fenris. No one actually listens to me. I have two people in my life who actually understand me entirely: Carver hates me and my Mother is actively ignoring what I want. They make me sound like this entirely different person to everyone else. I can't just talk to someone, I always have to talk through someone. I don't want a translator; I just want someone to understand me without being filtered through someone else. Maker, it's like she just hopes if she pretends, if they all pretend, I'll just be some pretty little princess and not be...not be me. My entire life, People have I was stupid because I couldn't speak and they were afraid of me, even when I was little. And then when I was a teen, well, a mute mage? Clearly possessed. At least I would have been a good member of the Qun, they wouldn't even have to stitch my mouth closed._

_But my family...my family, they just...they just think of me as a burden. They love me, but their entire life has rotated around trying to keep me out of trouble. I know that's why Mum is trying to get me married off, I get it. But...I just...I just...is it so awful that I just want someone to love me just as I am?_

She paused, seeing his expression. His eyes were soft, almost gazing at her. He knew she was angry, but had no idea why. She knew instantly that she should not have come here. She ran back out the door, slamming it behind her as she tried not to cry.

oOoOo

Hawke ignored the rest of the household as she came down the stairs. She could hear Bodahn call for her, standing by the door impatiently. She barely had her housecoat wrapped around her when she arrived, blushing when she saw Fenris standing before her, a few wildflowers crumpled in his hand.

Bodahn smiled as he walked off, leaving the two alone.

Fenris said quietly, "I know you were upset with me last night. I do not know what I did to offend you, but...but Hawke, please believe me when I say that I would never do anything to hurt you."

Hawke took the flowers and signed: _Thank you._

He ran his hand through his hair and said, "You have been a good friend. You have been kinder to me than I to you. I should have gone after you last night. I do not know...I do not know what I would have said."

She realized at that moment that he was attempting to sign while he spoke, a few intelligible words among a heap of gibberish. He was trying. He was trying damn hard and she wasn't sure if she should draw more attention to it or pretend she hadn't noticed. 

He noticed her glance and blushed, stopping his gestures.

"Varric has been teaching me a little," he admitted, "and Aveline and Isabela have been helping me learn to read. It's...it's incredibly embarrassing. I am a grown man, I just...Hawke, I should go. I shouldn't have come here."

He practically fled, leaving her alone on the step. Her heart raced as she leaned against the wall, trying to process what had just happened. 

oOoOo

The party traveled up the Wounded Coast, the rain beginning to fall harder around them. Hawke could barely focus on the task ahead, following behind Aveline as she led them. The others were ahead, but Fenris remained by her side, almost silent as a stone.

He stayed beside her when the slavers attacked, shielding her with his body as the first blow fell. She heard him yelp as a kick landed between his ribs. The rain poured down and she could barely see enough to send out an aura, never mind the rest of their party. She felt someone try to grab her, but she pushed them aside, trying to get to Fenris. She saw a human tie his legs together and in desperation, she signed: _Take me instead._

She was not sure if they understood her before the blow knocked her unconscious. 

oOoOo

Hawke stirred quickly, hearing the splattering of the rain against the wood of the deck. She looked over, seeing Fenris still tied beside her, lying on his side. She tried to reach out to him, but her hands were also bound. She tried to summon some magic, but knew quickly she had been drugged. She had little mana left, she needed to reserve it for when it was absolutely necessary. Fenris was unconscious, but still breathing and she was uninjured. 

She felt herself being dragged up and she yelped slightly. 

"Are we selling the girl too?" One asked.

The leader shoved him aside. "She's an Amell. I'd recognize that nose anywhere. We'll ransom her. I'm sure some rich mother somewhere will take back even their idiot daughter."

Hawke bared her teeth, causing the others to laugh further. 

 

Another asked, "And the knife-ear? Sure he isn't dead?"

The leader laughed, walking over to nudge Fenris in the stomach. "He's definitely alive. You don't want to see this one when he wakes up. I hear he can rip your heart straight out of you. I'm happy to keep him out until we reach Starkhaven. They can handle the monster then. Just be happy. We'll make more than twice then we were expecting this trip, now with the girl. Once this storm clears, we'll be set."

Hawke didn't think before she rose to her feet, her mana rising through her fingers.

"Shit! She's a witch!" The first screamed, just before the fire ignited deep inside of the ship, flames seeping upwards. In the chaos, Hawke grabbed Fenris, holding him close to her as she dove off into the sea.

She rose to the surface again to gasp for breath before diving below again to bring him back up for air. Hearing him breath again, she swam as hard as she could in the pouring rain, desperately hoping she was getting somewhere closer to the shore. The fire lit their way, the flames hot on her back even in the cold water.

It seemed an eternity before she made it back to the shore, though in reality it must have been less than ten minutes. She laid them both on the drenched sand. She looked over at him. His eyes fluttered and through the heavy veil of the rain, he looked up at her. His eyes closed again and for a moment she watched his chest rise and fall. 

She went through her ransacked gear and set up a tarp over a few pieces of driftwood, just enough to keep the rain out, even if the ground was still wet. She brought him into the makeshift tent and stripped him down, tossing the wet clothes outside. She did the same, throwing her robes outside. The situation was mainly clinical for her so as she lay beside him, embracing his body heat, she was surprised when he brought her into his arms, his chin resting on the top of her head. Exhausted, she let herself rest, falling asleep to the sound of his heart beat. 

It was still dark when she woke, the rain pouring still, but the ground beginning to dry slightly beneath them. She tried to wipe the wet sand off her skin and turned, seeing the man beside her. The colour had returned to his skin, now pebbled with sand. She could see every inch of him and despite the life or death situation, she could not help but admire him. He was just as gorgeous underneath his clothes as he was with them.

In panic, she peered out the tarp, seeing that their clothes had been washed several feet away on the beach. She grumbled but she closed the tarp. She turned, seeing Fenris stir.

She sighed and signed _Thank the Maker_.

She gasped as he leaned forward, his hand cupping her face as he kissed her. He pulled her into his arms and she felt like she was going to burst into flames. She let him take the lead, bringing her down to lie beside him. They curled into each other, kissing softly as his hands ran through her hair. If he said anything, she could not hear him over the rain. When his lips parted from hers, he held her to him protectively, his arms around her waist. She felt her eyes closing again and she drifted back off to sleep.

oOoOo

She woke alone and she raced out naked from the tent. She then saw Fenris nearby, trying to coax a makeshift fire to life. The ground was still wet but it was only raining lightly now. 

He was dressed in his soaked clothing, plastered to his sand caked skin. He handed her robe over to her without looking. She pulled the water from it and pulled it back over her head. She then manipulated the fire to burn stronger and placed her hand on Fenris' shirt to dry it.

He pulled away, refusing her help.

She signed: _What is it?_

He replied, "I took advantage."

She argued: _It was just a kiss._

He said quietly, "You couldn't say no. I just...Hawke...I really care about you. Maybe I haven't always showed it but...but I do. I didn't want it to come out like that. I wanted...I wanted for you to be able to tell me yourself if you wanted me too. I...I do not have a lot of experience in these things. Before when I was a slave, most times someone touched me, for whatever purpose, I did not want it. I just...I wanted to be able to be able to understand you fully before I kissed you. I wanted to be able to know what you wanted. No one should ever speak for you. Not even me."

She wasn't sure how to respond. She tried to touch his hand before she saw the others coming towards them, Varric waving excitedly.

"I told you that was her!" He chirped to Isabela.

Hawke waved back, wary of Fenris walking away from her to take down the tarp. She was quiet for the entire trip back, lost in thought.

oOoOo

Hawke ran into the Hanged Man, her hands shaking. She saw Fenris at the table with the others, drinking and playing his hand of Wicked Grace against Isabela. Hawke nudged the other woman. 

She signed quickly: _I need you to translate._

Isabela said playfully, "My darling handsome elf, our lovely lady Hawke has something she wants to say to you."

Hawke stood, shaking, as Isabela began to repeat: "I'm scared too. I'm scared of screwing this up because I'm madly in love with you and I think you might love me too. I know you're still learning, but I don't want to waste this time now. Why are we punishing ourselves when we could be upstairs naked right now?"

Hawke blushed and Isabela clarified, "I may have added that last bit."

Fenris said quietly, "I know."

They both looked at him in surprise as he stood, walking towards her. His fingers brushed against hers and she leaned in, waiting for his lips to brush against hers. But she opened her eyes again and saw him looking over his shoulder at Isabela, watching excitedly.

"What?" She grumbled. "We've been all waiting for months for you two to hook up. I might as well get to see the good bits."

Fenris said quietly, "Come to my house this evening. We'll talk then."

Her heart fluttered as she nodded. She watched him leave before shooting Isabela an annoyed glance. Isabela stood, giggling excitedly.

"Okay," she said kindly, throwing her arm around her. "So we're going to spend the rest of the afternoon making you even more gorgeous. The idea is to have the least amount of time talking, and the most amount of time-"

Hawke playfully shoved her to the side.

oOoOo

Despite her initial objections, Hawke let herself be pampered for the afternoon as she was prepped by the rest of their friends for the evening ahead. Even Anders gave a brief lecture about safe sex before disappearing with a scowl back to Darktown. By the time it was reasonable to claim it as evening, Hawke was dressed in the slinkiest dress that Isabela had, her makeup done perfectly by Merrill, her hair braided back by Aveline, and a few helpful wooing techniques from Varric. She had finally convinced them not to walk her to the door, leaving them to gossip excitedly in the streets.

She entered the house, kicking off her sandals. She walked further, seeing the hall amazingly free of clutter and grime. She walked up to Fenris' bedroom, seeing the flickering candlelight even from the lower level. 

She hesitated briefly before entering. Fenris rose from the fireplace, dressed simply in an ill-fitting shirt and pants he had clearly borrowed from someone else. He went to her side, taking her hands in his own.

She squeezed them briefly and then signed _There's so much I want to say. I don't know how much you're going to understand. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable, I just needed to get it out._

He reached into his pocket, handing her a crumpled piece of paper. She unfolded it, seeing her handwriting. It was the note from nearly a year ago. 

He said nervously, "Flip it over."

She did so, seeing the clumsily scrawled words, almost as if a child had written them. But the form of the words didn't matter, just what they said: 

_I love you._

She put the paper gently on the table before pulling him to her. She kissed him hard, her hands in his hair. He stumbled slightly before kissing her back, pushing her up against the wall. 

He pulled back slightly to see her face and whispered, "You'll tell me to stop?"

She nodded before kissing him again. She undressed slowly as he sat on the bed, making sure every angle of her could be seen in the soft lighting. By the time she had slid her panties off, Fenris was already half naked and clearly hard underneath his pants. He stood to meet her, his body pressed into hers just as he kicked off the last of his clothes. His hand swept into her hair, cupping her chin upwards to meet his hungry kiss. 

He admitted nervously, "It's been awhile."

 _Me too_ , she signed. 

"I want you on top," he murmured, kissing down her neck, "I want to keep your hands free, just in case."

He sat against the headboard, stretching his legs out, his cock throbbing between them. She knelt between his legs, holding his thighs apart as she took him into her mouth. He cried out, gripping at the sheets as she sucked. She slipped a hand down to touch herself as she worked, growing close just at the sound of him crying out for her. 

She felt a tremor go through her, the shallow orgasm she could bring herself to easily. She felt him pull her away and she looked up, concerned she had crossed a line.

"Please," he begged.

She could no longer resist. She straddled his hips, guiding him inside of her. She bit her lip, growing used to the sensation. He held her hips in his hands as she began to move, pushing forward at first until she could gain momentum. She panted, bucking against him as he wrapped his legs around her, one hand on her breast, one on her hip.

She reached down between them, rubbing her clit as she rode him, her other hand steadying herself against the headboard. She came the second time, deeper, shaking around him. She felt her legs shake and she felt as if they were about to give out. He noticed and flipped her over, his eyes not leaving hers as he pushed into her. He held her head in his hand as he moved, kissing her deeply between deep thrusts. She dug into his back, holding onto him as he pounded into her desperately. She gasped, the third orgasm surprising her as his movements became erratic. She held onto him as tight as she could, feeling his body pulse forward before he spurted inside of her, grunting.

They laid like that for a moment, grinning at the other. She rested her forehead against his before rolling over. 

She kissed him and signed: _See? That required very little reading._

He laughed, "I'm not entirely sure what you said, but I believe you're making a joke at my expense."

He nuzzled into her and she sighed happily, curling into his frame. He kissed the top of her head, his eyes drooping somewhat. She wanted to talk more, but she too found she was falling asleep. She heard his faint snore and shook her head. Tomorrow was another day.


End file.
